One Mom’s View
By Sharon Dunski Vermont

Boo. In our family, that is not a scary word. In fact, it is actually the name of my third “child.”

Now, while Boo, 6, is made of fuzzy material and is unable to speak or follow directions, I find myself having to keep track of her whereabouts and protect her from harm in the same way I do my other offspring. Jordyn, also 6, has made sure of that.

You see, Jordyn and Boo are extremely close. They both arrived on the same day and they do almost everything together. I suppose one could say that Boo and Jordyn are almost twins—the closest of sisters.

One simply needs to look past the fact that Jordyn does not have multicolored hair and that Boo looks more like someone (or something) you’d find in the bear cages at the zoo.

Boo went to preschool and now to kindergarten (albeit tucked away cozily in a backpack) with Jordyn. Boo also often sits with us at meals, watches television, all the while cuddled tightly to Jordyn’s chest, and has exactly the same bedtime as my other daughters. Boo even takes an occasional shower in my washing machine, and has also traveled around the world.

If you asked me right now, I would say I even believe that she’s going to wear a white dress someday at Jordyn’s wedding.
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May 15th, 2009 | Category: One Mom's View, Sharon Dunski Vermont | Leave a comment

The Father Files
Dave Bundy

In three months of column writing, I’ve covered puke, poop and a playground melee.

It might sound like fatherhood is taking years off my life.

Actually, it’s the exact opposite that is the truth.

See, I’m not supposed to be here. Not in this savvyfamily magazine. Not in St. Louis. Not on this earth. Not anywhere.

Four years ago, I was diagnosed with cancer. Stage IV colon cancer. Four years ago, next month, as my wife was being admitted to the hospital to give birth to our twin sons, kids No. 3 and No. 4, I was in the same hospital two floors below the maternity ward in an operating room undergoing surgery before starting chemotherapy.

On the day the twins were one week old, I found out my cancer had spread to my liver in addition to my lymph nodes. On that day, my doctor told me I had a 95 percent chance of dying in five years, and a great likelihood of being dead in 18 to 24 months.

(I think he tried to make it sound nicer, but that’s the math behind what he was saying.)

I was 36 years old. I had a 6-year-old son, a 3-year-old daughter and twins I might not even see out of diapers.

On the upside, I might not have to help potty train them.

OK, I’m kidding. But that’s exactly my point. Those two little Pamper-wrapped, pablum-slurpers kept us sane, forced us to focus on things besides my being sick. My wife and I spent some of the finest moments of our married lives thus far sitting in twin rocking chairs, each holding a twin, talking about hopes, dreams, the life we had and the life we had left.

Now, I don’t wish cancer or chemotherapy on anyone - and I’d ALSO think twice before I’d wish twins on anyone – but, as for us, the rest of 2004 was a magical time in our lives. Surrounded by family and friends, we felt love like we never felt before.

Between operations, chemotherapy and frequent trips from our home to the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minn., where I was being treated, we had a remarkably fun summer and fall.

I worked as much as possible in my job as editor of our town’s daily newspaper. When I wasn’t working or knocked out by chemo, there was always a kid to hold or to hug or to read to or to tickle.

Having cancer did get me out of our dreaded family camp-out, and I figured that in a worst case scenario – I died – at least I wouldn’t have to go camping again.

After the initial diagnosis, the news kept getting worse until midway through that summer, when the chemo really kicked in. At some point, I stopped talking about “if” I recovered and started talking about “when.” Doctors stopped talking about buying time and starting talking about being cured. The joking got easier, which was good because the chemo and surgery just got tougher. Shortly after Christmas, I was declared cancer-free.

Talk about a happy holiday.

Next March, I will have made it five years, a key milestone for cancer survivors. Statistically, 19 other patients died, and I got to live. I think a lot about why that would be. I’m a decent guy, but certainly nothing too special. Then I think about those four kids of mine, especially the twins.

Those little guys who draw with Sharpies on our TV screen, who plug up the toilet with an entire Pokemon book, who try to clean the floor with a fine mist of non-stick cooking spray – those little guys are a big part of why I’m still here.

I’m here to provide for them all – the twins and their older siblings. I’m here to teach them. I’m here so there’s a witness to the mayhem. Or maybe, I’m just here so my wife doesn’t have to go through this alone.

Whatever the reason, I’m grateful to be a cancer survivor. I’m grateful for all the cancer patients I met who faced longer odds than I did with more dignity and humor than I could muster. I’m grateful for all the good we saw in people while navigating a bad situation.

And I’m grateful that someday, in a quiet moment, if we ever have one again, I’ll be able to tell my kids about how they saved my life.

May 13th, 2009 | Category: Dave Bundy, The Father Files | Leave a comment

S.O.S. from Suburbia
Pam Wilson

Last year, when the members of my daughter’s Brownie troop in second grade, they had the opportunity to do many different types of volunteer work.

They made blankets and then donated them.

They collected hats, scarves and mittens and donated them.

But, the fondest memory of the year was to go down to the Emergency Shelter at Peter and Paul Community Services and serve dinner to the guests one cold night in February.

Before the troop headed down to Soulard, Keith Deisner, development director of the emergency shelter, visited the troop and explained who the dinner guests were going to be. He built a house of cards, only some of the cards were missing from the house. He explained that sometimes people were missing pieces too and asked the girls what he meant. They knew right away that he meant missing an education, good health, a job and sometimes even a family.

When the troop arrived, the girls were paired off, given aprons and instructions, and began serving dinner. The smiles never left the girls’ faces. They had a great evening while volunteering. At the end of the meal, as the girls walked through the dining hall, the guests thanked them by applauding.

Linda Rosen is another local volunteer extraordinaire. She has been volunteering for years. She has rocked babies, donated hours to the Ronald McDonald Houses, and has made lunches for the ladies at St. Patrick’s.

“Everyone deserves to know that they are loved and that someone cares about them, no matter who they are or their life circumstances,” she said. She lives her life fulfilling this goal.

“I know I can’t single-handedly change the world,” she said, “but I can make a difference.”

Linda was adamant that her family also not living a life of self-absorption.

“Volunteering is about shaping character, values and priorities, as well as equipping your children to be successful and confident in the future,” Linda said.

Linda’s daughter Kaylee, 15, has been taught the valuable lesson of volunteering.
“I ask myself how I can make a difference in people’s lives whenever I am volunteering,” Kaylee said. “You don’t know what you’re missing out on until you’ve been a part of it … I like going to St. Patrick’s (a women’s shelter in the city) and making dinner for the ladies who live there. We sit with them while we all have dinner and they tell us about their lives. It’s sad sometimes because I know that they have all their stuff with them in one box. It makes me feel grateful for what I have in my life. I like going with my friends because we feel like we are really helping someone.”

Susan Hobbs has also been volunteering for years.

“While delivering food to Circle of Concern last year, I found myself talking to The Tiff Food Pantry and found out that they were short of toys, as well as holiday meals,” Hobbs said. “Can you imagine being a parent and literally not having enough money to buy Christmas presents for your kids? My sister and I spent three days talking to friends and asking for donations. We ended up … buying presents so that no child would have an empty Christmas. Then I found out that some families wouldn’t have a holiday meal. I couldn’t imagine eating a holiday ham if I knew other people would have nothing. So, we bought a bunch of cooked hams and sliced them into serving sizes and brought them down to the food pantry as well. This year for Thanksgiving I collected about 20 fresh turkeys … I drove down to Tiff on the Monday before Thanksgiving to deliver them. They used every single one.”

Delaney, Hobbs’14-year old daughter, also revealed another of mom’s other volunteer activities.

“Last winter, my mom went into Dillard’s and bought a bunch of blankets. Then we drove around downtown and, when we saw anyone who looked like they needed it, we offered them a blanket. One man said he didn’t want it but wondered if we had any food. My mom drove over to White Castle and bought a bunch of cheeseburgers and fries and then we drove around trying to find him. We finally did and we gave him all the food,” Delaney said.

All of the girls (Kaylee, Kristen,14, Rosen’s daughters, and Darby, 12, and Delaney, Hobbs’ daughters) are members of the National Charity League. The National Charity League Inc. is a mother-daughter organization dedicated to serving communities in which a chapter is formed and also to foster the mother-daughter relationship. Daughters and mothers participated in a six-year educational program of philanthropic work, educational activities, leadership training and cultural events. Daughters must be between seventh and 12th grades.

“These volunteers … they’re giants. They make it all possible. Volunteering is the best kept secret. People come in for their own reasons and begin to see that the people they are helping are just like them. Stereotypes begin to melt away. The human compassion that volunteering builds spreads like wildfire. People just want to continue offering more of themselves,” Deisner said.

May 12th, 2009 | Category: Pam Wilson, S.O.S. from Suburbia | Leave a comment

When the Saint Louis Synergy Juvenile Team recently returned from the U.S. Figure Skating Midwestern Sectionals for Synchronized Skating in Denver, Colo., the team had taken the Bronze Medal, which qualified these skaters to compete in the U.S. Synchronized National Competition.

“This is so exciting,” said Karen Giedeman, head coach for the Saint Louis Synergy Synchro Program at the Webster Ice Arena. “The skaters on the Juvenile Team have worked so hard. We have done some research, and, to our knowledge, this is the first time a Synchronized Skating Team from Missouri has qualified to compete in the U.S. Figure Skating Synchro Nationals.”

In addition to this team taking Bronze at Sectionals, the Juvenile team also took the Gold Medal at the I.S.I. District 9 Competition held by the St. Peters Rec-Plex in January 2009.

The Saint Louis Synergy team skates under the Metro Edge Figure Skating Club in Webster Groves, Mo. This team consists of skaters from St. Louis area elementary and middle schools - ages 10 to12.

“I think the skaters are starting to realize how big this really is,” said Ramona Peterson, head coach for the Juvenile Team, ”when other teams and coaches come up and congratulate them on the accomplishment. It just makes all the hard work worth it.”

Metro Edge Figure Skating Club started its synchronized skating program with only 16 skaters in 1996. Since its inception, the program has grown to six teams with more than 100 skaters.

Each Synchro team includes 10 to 20 skaters. Team members range in age from 4 to 18 years old.

Team structures vary based on skill levels.

Skate with Synchro

If you have a skater that may be interested in Synchronized Skating, come to “Skate with Synchro” on Thursday, April 23, from 5 p.m. to 6:30 p.m. at the Webster Groves Ice Arena located near Hwy. 44 and Elm. It’s free to all skaters ages 4 to 17. (Skate rental may apply.) 

Open auditions for all teams will be held at the Webster Ice Arena starting on Saturday, April 25.  More information can be found on the Web site:   www.metroedgefsc.org

May 11th, 2009 | Category: Entertainment | Leave a comment

By Lucie R. Willsie

Many factors go into picking out a summer camp that is right for your child.

One of these important factors is the cost of the camp itself.

Camp prices can range from lower-priced day camps to the pricier sleep-away or overnight camps, which can range between $400 to $1,500, said Jeffrey Solomon, MSW, executive director of the National Camp Association. The typical price of an overnight or sleep-away camp is roughly around $1,000.

And, actually, that cost is not that much more expensive than what it would cost to feed and entertain your child at home doing the same activities, Solomon said. Especially if parents consider the added benefit of the long-term educational and emotional growth the camp will provide their child.

In the Midwest, a private camp may only cost around $750 for a week, according to Jenny Wolkowitz, the St. Louis area regional representative for Tips on Trips and Camps Inc.

Agency or subsidized camps, however, may only cost around $500 for a week.

But, “camp experiences pay off in all sorts of ‘emotional intelligence’ dividends,” Wolkowitz said. These include self-esteem, self-reliance, self-awareness, empathy, the ability to listen, cooperate and share, and self-control.

So-called “Cantina” camps can range from as little as $50 to $200, but many options may not be included in that price. For example, a camp may offer horseback riding, but only for an extra charge not part of the basic camp fee. Many camps offer this “ala carte” option, Solomon said.

“Obviously, there’s a great range,” Solomon said. “Parents must work within their means and budgets.”

Just don’t assume lower costs mean an inferior camp, Solomon said. Most of these camps, such as the YMCA, the YMHA, both the Boy Scouts and the Girl Scouts, and lots of smaller church camps, are subsidized from other sources, allowing them to lower costs to the actual campers and their families.

Also remember that along with the higher cost comes the expectation that the camp will also provide higher skill development, more activities, and larger amenity options, etc.

The more money a camp costs, the more “robust” a program it should provide campers, Solomon said. Unless you want your child to be a better tennis player, however, then there is no reason to pay the extra cost for a camp that provides this skill training.

It’s extremely important for parents to ask what is included in the camp price, Solomon said.

But, the best value is not clear-cut. It’s different for each camper and his or her family.

“It depends on what parents are looking for,” he said.

Keep in mind, however, that within each category of camp – baseball, chess, science, music, etc. – the cost is usually roughly the same because they have similar expenses, Solomon said.

Also, check into possible scholarships available.

“Almost every camp – private or agency – offers some amount of need-based campership,” Wolkowitz said.

For older campers, leadership development programs for wilderness trips, like Summer Search at www.summersearch.org, are available for at-risk youth.

May 8th, 2009 | Category: Camps, Summer camps | Leave a comment

There’s no doubt that summer camp is fun. Kids get to sing silly songs, play funny games, swim in lakes, and tell spooky stories around a campfire. This is the image of camp that has been captured and memorialized in films, books, and television programs for the past 50 years. But, there’s much more to camp than just a good time. In addition to fun, parents should be aware of these five reasons their child needs camp.

American Camp Association research has confirmed that camps build skills necessary to prepare campers to assume roles as successful adults. Campers said that camp helped them make new friends (96 percent), get to know kids who are different from them (93 percent), feel good about themselves (92 percent), and try things they were afraid to do at first (74 percent).

Camp provides children the opportunity to try new things and participate in human-powered activities. According to surveys by both the Kaiser Family Foundation and the Center for Disease Control and Prevention, an American child is six times more likely to play a video game on any given day than to ride a bike. An estimated 22 million of the world’s children under the age of five are already considered obese. According to research conducted by the ACA, 63 percent of children who learn new activities at camp tend to continue engaging in these activities after they return home. This leads to continued physical exercise that lasts a lifetime.

Camps understand the critical role they play in helping young people learn and grow. Many offer programs that help reduce summer learning loss, bolster academic enrichment and socialization, provide opportunities for leadership development, and ensure that campers achieve their full potential.

Camp is a great way for your child to unplug from the iPod® and plug into the world around them. According to a study by two Cornell University environmental psychologists, being close to nature can help boost a child’s attention span. Additionally, a study conducted by the University of Essex in England concluded that nature can help people recover from pre-existing stresses or problems, has an immunizing effect that can protect from future stresses, and helps people to concentrate and think more clearly. In some instances, camp may be the only time a child is in contact with the natural world.

It’s true. Kids do sing silly songs and play funny games at camp. Children are allowed to play in a safe and nurturing environment, and are allowed to just be kids. Play is a powerful form of learning that contributes mightily to the child’s healthy physical, emotional, social, and intellectual development. According to an American Academy of Pediatrics report, creative free play protects a child’s emotional development and reduces a child’s risk of stress, anxiety, and depression.

To find a camp for your child, visit the Find A Camp feature on ACA’s parent Web site at www.CampParents.org. The ACA works to preserve, promote, and enhance the camp experience for children and adults. ACA-Accredited® camp programs ensure that children are provided with a diversity of educational and developmentally challenging learning opportunities. There are more than 2,400 ACA-accredited camps that meet up to 300 health and safety standards. For more information, visit www.ACAcamps.org.

May 7th, 2009 | Category: Camps, Summer camps | Leave a comment

A study by Indiana University and Ohio State researchers found that children gain more weight over the summer than during the school year. A child’s summer camp experience can provide the structure and activity needed to keep kids healthy year-round.

“Our general finding that kids do better in a structured environment with scheduled exercise and limited opportunities to eat is consistent with the idea that camp can help restrain summer weight gain,” said Paul von Hippel, Ohio State University sociology professor and lead author of the study.

The American Camp Association’s former national president Ann Sheets agrees with this study, adding that is is more important than ever for our youth to be physically active when they are not in school.

“The camp environment is supportive of healthy lifestyles,” Sheet said. “Camp includes lots of physical activity, good nutritional choices, and a set sleep schedule, all of which play a role in maintaining a healthy lifestyle and preventing childhood obesity.”

For the study, researchers studied the growth rates of the body-mass indexes of 5,380 kindergarteners and first-graders. The university sociologists discovered that the children’s BMIs increased on average more than twice as much during summer break compared with the school year. Once kids were back in school, however, the monthly growth rate of their BMIs fell, researchers found.

According to the ACA, 63 percent of children who learn new activities at camp tend to continue engaging in these activities after they return home.

Camps, because they are rooted in experiential learning, provide opportunities for children to exercise and stay physically fit that are not available in school and are certainly not available watching television or playing video games, according to Sheets.

For more information about the American Camp Association, visit www.ACAcamps.org or www.CampParents.org.

May 6th, 2009 | Category: Camps, Summer camps | Leave a comment

Summer Camps
By Jenny Wolkowitz

Once you have made your decision about where to send your child, you may be wondering how to prepare for the summer. Here are some tips to ensure a successful summer experience.

BEFORE CAMP BEGINS

If you experience fear or anxiety about sending your child off to camp, discuss it with your spouse or friends (not your child). Sensing that you are worried will only worry your child.

Avoid statements like “I’m going to miss you terribly.” While it may be your attempt to reassure your child, you don’t want him or her to feel guilty about leaving you.

It’s okay to let your child know that he or she might experience some homesickness and that it is normal and natural.

If you attended camp yourself, heighten your child’s interest in camp by pointing out some of the exciting things you remember about your camping experiences. Do NOT offer to pick up your child if he or she is not having a good time. Avoid statements such as “If you don’t like camp, you can come home”.

Arrange times when your child can “practice” being away from home prior to camp, even if it’s just a sleepover at a friend’s house.

Tell camp administrators that your child may be predisposed to homesickness due to unusual circumstances at home (e.g., a pending divorce or a serious illness in the family).

Ask how you can find out if your child is having a good time. Each camp is different. Many camps post photos on their Web site to reassure parents that their children are indeed participating and having fun. Others may even arrange to have a first-time camper call home, particularly if you have specific concerns.
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May 5th, 2009 | Category: Camps, Jenny Wolkowitz, Summer camps | Leave a comment

Father Files
Dave Bundy

That Little Red Guy Can Really Bring Out the Grouch in Folks

I am not a jerk. I love kids. I’m a good neighbor. I vote. I like puppies. So, you can see I’m not a monster. But, what I say next may be shocking.

I don’t like Elmo.

I can tolerate him in books, where I get to use my own voice. On television, I can tolerate him in low doses, but 10 minutes of Elmo’s World at the end of Sesame Street is about all I can stand.

Elmo Live, the 90-minute touring show that makes an annual visit to St. Louis, pushes me to my outer limits. I’ve gone the last two years with my twins, now 4. I’m hoping by next year that Elmo joins rattles, binkies and sippy cups in the “baby stuff” category they do anything to avoid.

But this year, there we were at the Scottrade Center in section 110, row Q, seats 112, 113, 114 and 115 (I dragged my 11-year-old son along to help carry concessions and with bathroom trips).

The plot seemed contrived, the acting seemed forced and the only character I really identified with was Oscar the Grouch.

Occasionally, they mixed in an old song from the pre-Elmo days when I was a big fan. Kermit the Frog, who was retired with the passing of Muppet creator Jim Henson, elevated the level of child discourse, and Elmo seems to dumb it down a bit. But, if I had to sit through 90 minutes of a giant Kermit singing and dancing, I might feel differently.

Nope, I won’t be sorry when, for my kids, the proverbial curtain falls on Elmo Live and everything else Elmo.

I know he’s cute and educational. But, he’s a little grating. And every year, there’s a new toy version of Elmo that has more tricks. The first one just laughed, vibrated and wanted to be tickled. The next fell over laughing and picked himself up off the floor. The latest moves and says all sorts of things.

So, as I sit channeling my inner Oscar and contemplating Tickle-me Elmo and his animated progeny, I offer Fisher-Price enough Elmo-innovation for years to come:
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May 4th, 2009 | Category: Dave Bundy, The Father Files | Leave a comment